Sunday, July 27, 2008

Stage Fright


It seems fear comes naturally to us. It also seems fear grows with maturity. The more we mature, the more scared we are. Sounds funny, doesn’t it? Imagine a kid who has never fallen and got hurt, one who’s never got a scolding or heard a horror story. What would scare him? His growth (maturity) starts with school, where he is taught what good people are like. The kid learns that the good people are the ones who are respected by society and he ought to be like one of them one day. In other words, it’s the beginning of him getting scared of becoming anything else. Even the smartest of the lot who are loaded with ‘Distinctions’ and have topped for years together are scared that they might not top in the coming year. They get used to being loved by friends and family for their ‘Distinctions’ so much that the very thought of losing it anyway anywhere scares the hell out of them. In my opinion, if one has a defense mechanism at that tender age that could beat that fear off, he would never ever face something like “stage fright”. Alas, many of us haven’t been that strong or lucky in those years. Its just because we are among the fortunate ones to have received the right education that has taught us that being good is synonymous with being successful.

We commonly associate the term stage fright in a literal sense. A schoolboy might be reluctant to stand up in a morning school assembly to read out something as simple as the 'Thought of the day'. A singer could be sweating at the thought of messing up the lyrics or a high note on stage. A dancer who has practiced the same steps 'N' number of times could find his leg shaking out of fear even before getting on the stage. The list is endless. Yet I feel this physical 'stage' is not the 'stage' that worries the kid, the singer or the dancer for that matter.
A famous Shakespearean quote says "All the world's a stage". I don't feel there's any better interpretation of a stage. A new born has no fear since he hasn't experienced the 'stage'. But before he comes to his senses, he is already being moulded into becoming a reflection of his parents. Then follows school and college and work and the various 'stages' of his life and he is constantly 'frightened' at each 'stage' of him turning out to be anyone but the loved and cherished person he is at that 'stage' of life.
I recently had the privilege of competing with a few top notch singers in a reality show. I also got to share my room with this superbly talented guy from Himachal Pradesh who has performed on stage since he was a kid and had also made it to the top 12 of Sa Re Ga Ma (another reality show) in some previous season. He oozes confidence and his singing is flawless. He has years of training in classical music and wishes to make a career in music which he most certainly would sooner or later. Everything was fine till the day came when we were supposed to sing in front of the judges. Of all people, I saw this very experienced stage singer falling prey to stage fright. Before getting on stage, he told me that every single time he sets feet on stage, he has that fear of failing. The fear of not being admired as much as he is now and deserves to be. What I learnt from him is that its certainly not about being alien to a 'staged atmosphere' that freaks out people, the fear is innate. It cannot go just by years of practice or performance. If it is within you, it would stay forever unless you deliberately kill that fear.
The only way I feel stage fright can be eliminated is by introspection. This would sound much easier said than done but I feel it is not that tough either. As you step on any stage, just look around at a few faces in the crowd and tell yourself that these are the people who have come all the way to watch you perform. The very thought that you might have been sitting in the audience rather than standing there on stage had you not dared to showcase your talent should make you feel very proud. This proud feeling can eliminate most of that fear. It is pessimistic behavior to think of all the ways things could go wrong for you. A stage gives you the opportunity to fight out of that web of fear. Once you succeed in eliminating that fear, you have won more than just that one battle. You have brought that kid in you back to life who isn't scared of trying something new, something that makes 'him' happy.