Saturday, May 8, 2010

Expectations - The reason for life's disappointments

I picked this cannot-be-anymore-true statement from a friend Nitin's Facebook status and could not stop myself from blogging about the same. Having come across people of different age groups and discussing their "issues", I cannot help imagining that this would be true for most of us in most cases, if not all.

When I think of life, its immense beauties and limited flaws, it is difficult to avoid "expectations" in all forms as a reason for people holding themselves back from trying to be what they would like to be. The most startling aspect of this is that this negative force comes primarily from our own "support systems". "Expectations" can be as simple as a flower for your loved one on a special day to as pronounced as a life following a purpose of pleasing the people who "made you what you are today". The "joy of giving" in its true form would never involve any "expectation" in finding a return in some form, some day. Unfortunately, that is rarely the case.

I strongly feel that be it charity or the immense support and love for your kin or a surprise party for a friend or an organ for a dying relative, we do things that make us happy and satisfied in the end. Any "expectation" of a return would just take away all the sheen from the good job that you have done. Repeating, we all do things that make US happy and satisfied.
For instance, parents bring up their children using everything at their disposal with a constant happiness of winning smiles and success for their creation. Dreading an uncertain future once their babies became men/women, would any parents hold themselves back from doing what they do? Its an obvious NO. It is something that comes naturally and its something that makes any parent happy and proud. Its unfortunate how "expectations" surface and how they keep rising. Its unfortunate how, for many of us, our own "support systems" work against us at times.

It is all very complicated, as many of my dear friends would put and go on with their lives. All I can tell them is that if you let yourself slip into submission once too often in life, you'll always be taken for granted. Its a bad thing to be mean but its ok at times to put your foot down and let your "support systems" know that you feel your life is getting compromised and you don't feel like yourself any more. Lets not engage too much in wishful thinking and make too many promises just to make someone happy instantly and indirectly create "expectations".

Lets learn from dogs about basic simple living for a change; you love them and its certain that you'll get love in return. They won't ask for any more. They would continue loving you even if say you lose your mind some day and stop loving them.